Dear diaries 6

Dear diaries ......

today im gonna reveal the real me ..... the emo side of me .... yesterday was a very complicated day .... im happy n sad /emo at the same tym ..... yesterday ..... i accidentally knew about the truth that i wish i will nvr ever noe if im given a choice !! it hurts ..... it really hurts .... it makes me dunt believe frenship anymore .... Y ...? Y must i know this ugly truth ! I'm suppose to enter U with all those gd memories with u .... but now .... u spoil it ...... i wanna be clear in my diaries ..... but can i really do it ....? im scared .... n i dunt have to confident to do it ....there are still ppl who spread bad rumors about me ..... it really hurts me .... it's tired to always keep things to myself ..... sumtym i really hope got some one that can let me spread out everything inside my heart n just let me cry out loud for an hour or even more ...... the person i hope for do appear but y must it be him ? y is he always the 1st to notice im sad im emo im mad n wat so eva ....... n he's always the only one to comfort me ..... telling me dunt be sad dunt be angry ..... n smsed me those lame jokes to make me smile ..... It's gd that there is still such ppl staying by my side ..... but ..... haih .....!!

keeping secrets aren't easy ...... im sick of keeping things to myself .... sometimes i wanted to tell him wat happen but i just cant express it out ..... M have C and K , who do i have ? S ? i noe S well ..... telling her these things will only make her to suffer .... so i cant really tell her sumtym .... but she's really gd to me !! i luv u S ..... i think u r the only close fren left to me ..... the only person in malacca that i can still chat for a long tym without stopping !! i appreciate it !!

I remembered i told K & M that if anything happen u can always talk to me ..... somehow i wish they will also said back that if u got anything we r always there to talk to u ...... I'm always the gd listener n a gd counselor ..... but i need a listener too ..... this is the 1st tym I"m writing so many emo stuff .... with 2 roll of tears cuming out from my eyes .... I seek for K's help be4 when im in matric ..... i dunnoe y i will sms her ..... but when i on my phone .... she's the only one in the contact list that i can smsed ..... i dunnoe wat happen to me ..... at the tym my only fren in matric left me ..... it's a tough nite for me ..... i cried for the whole night untill my roomate come n comfort me ..... i smsed her n spread my feelings out ...... actually kinda sad to disturb her ..... I'm sorry again K .... when facing ezam stress also .... i smsed her sumthing stupid ..... why m i always sms her i also dunnoe ..... maybe i trust her .... maybe i always help her n now i wanted her to help me too ..... I'm really sry to always disturb her ..... haih .....

也许时间是一种解药，也是我现在正服下的毒药.....

now i only now how hurt is this lyrics ........ time can cure sum of the problem im facing .... but it also leads me to another disaster ...... from the ugly truth i noe yesterday ..... maybe i should stop going KTV ..... singing suppose to be a great thing which bring good memories to me .... but now it changes ...... it's no more happy memories .... ！！

Dear diaries 5

Dear diaries .....

I'm here again to update my blog ...... arh .... went for medical checkup just now ...... n i got shocked at there ..... I'm only 150cm ....omg ..... so short ..... omg ..... haih ..... n i gain weight ady .... 45.5 kg .... in just 2 months tym i gain 1.5kg .... omg ..... i need to control my diet ady lah ..... must lose weight ..... stupid medical checkup .... it let be realise im SHORT N FAT ..... just lyk dwarf !! haih .....

this checkup requires to do urine test .... so .... haha .... i hv to pee to the correct place ..... hahaha ....sounds very geli rite ..... hv to take the small bottle .... aim to that side n start collecting ur own urine ..... haha ..... the doctor said : well..... ur body is healthy .... ur respiratory system , excretory system , nervous system all normal .... ( of cuz normal la .... if nervous system abnormal i wont be here loh ....) but u have a very concentrated urine ...... so drink more water .... then i answered : haha .... i noe my urine is concentrated cuz for the whole morning i didnt drink water .....i went for the X ray early in the morning n staright away cum here so no water to drink ..... then the doctor laugh .... haha ...

another funny thing happen was at the radiotherapy center at putra hospital where i have my X ray test ...... the therapist asked me some questions which i think its funny .... 1st she asked how old m i .... i answered : 19 .... then she asked when did ur period come ? well.... i fee weird when she asked lyk that cuz wats the relationship of when ur menstruation come with this X ray thingy .... but i answered : form 1 .... then she smile n correct her question again .... the question is when did ur last period come ? ... then i was lyk ..... ^O^ I answered : last month .... then therapist asked again : u confirm u r not pregnant ? .... i was lyk ....@@ of cuz im not pregnant lah ..... haiyo ... pregnant woman knot do Xray wan mah ..... haiyo .... plus my period got come loh .... haiyo.... swt man ......

after that went to open bank account .... Bank ISLAM .... omg .... so many ppl queuing to open account ..... plus I saw a few seniors from pay fong 2 wan ..... i noe them but they dunnoe me .... haha .... they going the same U as me .... omg .... i cant really believe it .... haha ... now i really feel F6 is a waste of tym .... cuz those seniors going to be coursemate with me .... wahaha ....it's weird dude !!but hor .... this bank islam very small leh .... n whole malacca only one branch ... omg .... so squeeze inside .... haha .... u can see everybody holding the application form n starting to find a place to fill up the form .... luckily im smart enough to bring a pen myself ... no need to wait for the bank punya pen .... hahaha .....!!

Dear diaries 4

Dear diaries .....

well..... im starting a new life soon ....going for Uni for my tertiary education .... and there's a lot to prepare ..... i wanted to bring everything NEW to my U but i cant afford it ..... haih ... too bad rite ? Today i packed sum of my clothes to UKM according to the dress code they given which are : 2 or 3 BLUE is a must, for entering lecture hall ... smart casual is ok .... SMART CASUAL as in collar T with long pants ( jeans r not so allowed according to my senior ) ..... n here's my packing result ..... i search for my whole cupboard n i noticed that i dunt have any suitable collar blouse to wear for lecture .... cuz all my blouse are round neck wan plus others are sleeveless ..... others collar T r my PJ attire at kmp ..... hahaha .... and for long pants ..... well.... i only have jeansssss...... omg ..... haha .... for the BLUE kurung .... i need to buy it .... so means i need to buy clothessssss for my Uni life .....

besides packing, i have to go for medical checkup 2mr .... haih .... why does this U need to do medical check up .... it's a waste of money .... need to pay for X ray lagi .... haih .... i need lots of money now !!!! summore i think UKM is the only U that need to do medical checkup ..... haih ..... it's unnecessary lah .... waste my money only !! I have to open another bank account again ..... this tym is bank islam .... haha .....i think i got lots of account ady ... my godness .....

Dear diaries 3

Dear diaries ......

Yesterday i spend a nite at JY new hs alone ..... at 1st i tot she will be going to stay at her new hs but she ends up slping in her old hs .... so i slept in her room alone .... im lucky that i brought my lappy with me for the entertainment at there .... n today we celebrated grandma's birthday buy having a BIG FAMILY steamboat lunch n dinner .... haha .... its fun that we ate the whole day .......haha ...

my AS fren just went back a few hours ago .... feel sry to him as he come malacca to meet us n i just got to go out with him for one day ..... hope he enjoy his trip well ..... he's a weird fren i think ..... weird for me .... haha .... 1st person i met that lyks to go museum ..... haha ....he left a parcel at rx's hs n that 's for me .... haih ... i didnt even buy things for him n yet he bought me sumthing ..... i feel so bad lah ..... kekxim .....he's really a nice fren .... haha .... kmp's life are the best esp when we r preparing things n performances for the pesta yuen celebration ..... i just cant forget those sweet memories ..... n i missed it so much !!

today i read sum article from FB .... they r quite meaningful for me ....well...sumtym i just hate that ppl's article can reflect my life .....I'm in a dilemma now ..... shall I keep avoiding his msg ? shall i reply it ? but i really dislyk the feeling that when i reply his msg n he didnt reply me at all ..... that feeling sucksssss ..... i would rather avoid him n let him scold me for not replying his msg during the next tym he sms me ..... haih ..... he's going um n I'm going ukm .... 2 schools are quite near to each other .... haha .... he still owe me 1 starbucks n 1 cornetto ice cream haha ..... maybe i should change the cornetto to baskin robbin since he's damn rich !!it's a gd chance to take back my starbucks n ice cream .... half of the kmp chinese students are going um n ukm .... haha .... I'm looking forward for another kmp-ians reunion in KL .... it will be fun !!

Dear diaries 2

Dear diaries ....

It's been a while that i didnt update my blog .... I planned to update it everyday but it seems that i failed to do so ..... sumtym I'm lazy to post wateva happen to me....sumtym i feel i cant really express myself out properly ..... why is it so .... well maybe its becuz there's a lot of things happen all in a tym that i cant really remember it ..... or im escaping from facing the problem that i hv to solve ....

I'm being offered to go UKM to further my studies .... taking the course that i wanted so much ..... this is the 1st tym that i noe whats the taste of tears of joy ..... it's sweet !! haha ..... It's lucky for me to hv the course i want ..... as sum of my fren only got the 4th or 5th choice which are less prefered ....n now I'm a step closer to my dream !! may god bless me !!

Dear diaries 1

Dear diaries ...
I've decided to change my blog appearance .... changing a new layout , a new background colour and a new theme ... actually i wanted to close my this blog n start with a new blog page , but it will be a waste since most of my stories are here.

Time flies. it's ady half a year n i discovered that this year there's ntg special about me ....although i scored my examination well but it doesnt make me happy at all ... i dunnoe wat's the reason that i'm not happy with my FLAT ... haih ... coming back from perlis suppose to be a great thing but now i felt that staying at perlis is FUN except all those racist discrimination.... i'm sad that my relationship between certain frenz had changed .... we r not that close anymore ....well, it's gd to say that luckily i still hv certain ppl as my so called "close fren " ..... well.... r they really my close fren ? thats a question to me also .... i cant confirm they are really my close fren or not ... but untill now we still keep in touch .... nobody call me to hang out with them .... well ... all i did was just go out with ah ne .... n it's only one tym !! ah ne .... thanks a lot ...it's fun to hang out with u after ur ezam ...i'm looking forward to hang out with cy too ... haha ... sing K ....

there's still a lot of things i wanna spread out at here .....sumtym being a scorpion is not that easy .... haih .... !!

一个人很好！！

街 挤满了欢笑.....
不适合眼泪来凑热闹
跑 不停寻找.....
一个无人的转角
不优雅的时候 还是一个人就好

爱 什么时候能说退就退？
我松开手， 回忆却没能随风飘走......
为什么 越相信谁能依靠
越换来一次次的灵魂寂寥？
有没有永远不会再让心绝望的解药？

每一天都有一千一万个选择， 而我做的每一个决定是对的吗？
照着镜子， 我看到了自己的徬徨和疑惑！！
欢呼 冲动 落泪 沮丧 欢乐 愤怒
哪一个才是真正的我？都是 也都不是 .....
无论我是谁，能确定的是，
我正为成为自己的路上一步一步地走着....
没有人是不会变的 我也不例外，
好的我 坏的我 都在成长
而我等待的又是怎样的自己？？

.. .-- .. .-.. .-.. .-.. . - ..- --. ---

Some say it’s not over ‘till it’s over
Guess this is really over now
There’s something I gotta say before I let you go
Listen
When you have a fight with her
Sometimes you cry
And feel sad and blue
I become hopeful
My heart aches secretly
Then just a hint of your smile
Can make feel fine again

To keep you from figuring out how I feel about you
Coz then we would drift apart
I hold my breath, bite my lips
Trying to hide

You never knew how I felt about you
And I hated you so
Sometimes I wished you would be unhappy
Now I have no more tears left to cry
It’s going to be unbearably hard for me
But .. .-- .. .-.. .-.. .-.. . - ..- --. --- !!