today im gonna reveal the real me ..... the emo side of me .... yesterday was a very complicated day .... im happy n sad /emo at the same tym ..... yesterday ..... i accidentally knew about the truth that i wish i will nvr ever noe if im given a choice !! it hurts ..... it really hurts .... it makes me dunt believe frenship anymore .... Y ...? Y must i know this ugly truth ! I'm suppose to enter U with all those gd memories with u .... but now .... u spoil it ...... i wanna be clear in my diaries ..... but can i really do it ....? im scared .... n i dunt have to confident to do it ....there are still ppl who spread bad rumors about me ..... it really hurts me .... it's tired to always keep things to myself ..... sumtym i really hope got some one that can let me spread out everything inside my heart n just let me cry out loud for an hour or even more ...... the person i hope for do appear but y must it be him ? y is he always the 1st to notice im sad im emo im mad n wat so eva ....... n he's always the only one to comfort me ..... telling me dunt be sad dunt be angry ..... n smsed me those lame jokes to make me smile ..... It's gd that there is still such ppl staying by my side ..... but ..... haih .....!!
keeping secrets aren't easy ...... im sick of keeping things to myself .... sometimes i wanted to tell him wat happen but i just cant express it out ..... M have C and K , who do i have ? S ? i noe S well ..... telling her these things will only make her to suffer .... so i cant really tell her sumtym .... but she's really gd to me !! i luv u S ..... i think u r the only close fren left to me ..... the only person in malacca that i can still chat for a long tym without stopping !! i appreciate it !!
I remembered i told K & M that if anything happen u can always talk to me ..... somehow i wish they will also said back that if u got anything we r always there to talk to u ...... I'm always the gd listener n a gd counselor ..... but i need a listener too ..... this is the 1st tym I"m writing so many emo stuff .... with 2 roll of tears cuming out from my eyes .... I seek for K's help be4 when im in matric ..... i dunnoe y i will sms her ..... but when i on my phone .... she's the only one in the contact list that i can smsed ..... i dunnoe wat happen to me ..... at the tym my only fren in matric left me ..... it's a tough nite for me ..... i cried for the whole night untill my roomate come n comfort me ..... i smsed her n spread my feelings out ...... actually kinda sad to disturb her ..... I'm sorry again K .... when facing ezam stress also .... i smsed her sumthing stupid ..... why m i always sms her i also dunnoe ..... maybe i trust her .... maybe i always help her n now i wanted her to help me too ..... I'm really sry to always disturb her ..... haih .....
No comments:
Post a Comment