Dear diaries .....
i think i cant take it anymore ...... the relationship between me n u ..... it's complicated .... u care for me n i care for u ..... but i dunnoe wat r u thinking ...... u treat me very nice especially this few weeks when i was in Uni ..... when i'm down ur the 1st to caunsole me ..... i knew its impossible between both of us thats why i draw a line there n not letting myself to cross over n yet now u cross the line ..... i just dunnoe how to reject anymore ....i noe u treat me as a fren ..... but just lyk wat i had always tell u ..... wat u do might let ppl misunderstood u !! n i might feel that u lyk me when u do those things to me ..... i just hope that im thinking too much lah ..... i really cant face it .... haih ..... when can this kind of complicated situation becum simple as the past ???
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Dear diaries 9
Dear diaries......
the judgement nite is over ...... wat a relief .... but actually there's still sum unstatisfaction of me towards those 4th year seniors , well in the internet everybody has the right to post wateva they one as long as it didnt breaks the law or touch any sensitive issues ..... my friend posted sum shout out commenting those illegal activities that we are doing n those 4th year seniors r really checking our fb account ...... they can even point out all those juniors that commented sumthing about those activities. and they just scold them in front of everybody ...... at that moment i feel that i dunt really have privacy anymore ...... im scared to release my anger or even my feelings in fb cuz i dunno wat will happen if they read it as everyone of them have our email add ..... omg ..... im lucky that my this blog acc is different from wat i have gave them so i can write very freely here !! haha !!
this week we will have a different task for IO (illegal organization) we have to find other's faculty seniors to sign for us n we have to work together with the fakulti sains kesihatan juniors to do a sketch or dance ( group performance) for our seniors to see ..... again ..... another ways to humillate ourselves in order to entertaint our seniors ...... arrhhhh......
the judgement nite is over ...... wat a relief .... but actually there's still sum unstatisfaction of me towards those 4th year seniors , well in the internet everybody has the right to post wateva they one as long as it didnt breaks the law or touch any sensitive issues ..... my friend posted sum shout out commenting those illegal activities that we are doing n those 4th year seniors r really checking our fb account ...... they can even point out all those juniors that commented sumthing about those activities. and they just scold them in front of everybody ...... at that moment i feel that i dunt really have privacy anymore ...... im scared to release my anger or even my feelings in fb cuz i dunno wat will happen if they read it as everyone of them have our email add ..... omg ..... im lucky that my this blog acc is different from wat i have gave them so i can write very freely here !! haha !!
this week we will have a different task for IO (illegal organization) we have to find other's faculty seniors to sign for us n we have to work together with the fakulti sains kesihatan juniors to do a sketch or dance ( group performance) for our seniors to see ..... again ..... another ways to humillate ourselves in order to entertaint our seniors ...... arrhhhh......
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Dear diaries 8
Dear diaries....
it's been more than 2 weeks that im in a new environment ..... UKM .... actually i dunt really lyk this U cuz everything is in BM ..... plus there's sum stupid rules to follow .... the things that drive me crazy are the course orientation .... its kinda stupid actually but wat we can do is just follow wat we are asked to do ..... just lyk treating a dog .... master call u sit, u sit, master call u run, u run ...... senirors are the master n we r the dogs .... haih ... newbie are always there for seniors to bully .... n yet those seniors are still saying they r protecting us ..... stupid rite ..... calling us to copy n memorize all their personal profile n ask for their signature ...... its a tough job leh ..... we only got 4 days .... each day one hr to minta sign. ..... got 125++ seniors .... where can finish wor ..... haih .....
But actually the program is kinda fun ...... thats when im asking sign from certain seniors .... esp guys ..... they are funny ..... cuz whenever i saw them in faculty they will point themself n ask me whether i still remember their name or not .... n surprisingly i really can remember their name .... wahaha .... maybe becuz they r too funny ..... when i called out their name then they will compliment me haha .... it's fun .... but for girls .... nah .... i dunt lyk .... cuz they very leceh .... call u do this do that .... ask u this ask u that .... then only sign for u .... waste tym nia lah .....
this thursday is the judgement night ..... wat is judgement nite .... well.... if saying it in a gd way its a nite where those seniors from 4th 3rd n 2nd year wanna see our performances n decide who to take as their buddy ..... while say it in a bad way ... its a nite where we newbies hv to embarass ourselves infront of all those seniors in order to entertaint them ..... stupid rite .... haih ... but we cant disobey them .... cuz u wont noe n u wont want to noe the consequences of disobeying them ... haha .....!!
I kinda miss my life in matric .... at there is more free .... who says UNi life is fun .... its not fun ... hearing lecture to lecture 2 chapter in one hr .... can u imagine how fast the speed is .... n we dunt hv any reference also .... haih ... dunnoe how to do my revision also !! so kekxim
it's been more than 2 weeks that im in a new environment ..... UKM .... actually i dunt really lyk this U cuz everything is in BM ..... plus there's sum stupid rules to follow .... the things that drive me crazy are the course orientation .... its kinda stupid actually but wat we can do is just follow wat we are asked to do ..... just lyk treating a dog .... master call u sit, u sit, master call u run, u run ...... senirors are the master n we r the dogs .... haih ... newbie are always there for seniors to bully .... n yet those seniors are still saying they r protecting us ..... stupid rite ..... calling us to copy n memorize all their personal profile n ask for their signature ...... its a tough job leh ..... we only got 4 days .... each day one hr to minta sign. ..... got 125++ seniors .... where can finish wor ..... haih .....
But actually the program is kinda fun ...... thats when im asking sign from certain seniors .... esp guys ..... they are funny ..... cuz whenever i saw them in faculty they will point themself n ask me whether i still remember their name or not .... n surprisingly i really can remember their name .... wahaha .... maybe becuz they r too funny ..... when i called out their name then they will compliment me haha .... it's fun .... but for girls .... nah .... i dunt lyk .... cuz they very leceh .... call u do this do that .... ask u this ask u that .... then only sign for u .... waste tym nia lah .....
this thursday is the judgement night ..... wat is judgement nite .... well.... if saying it in a gd way its a nite where those seniors from 4th 3rd n 2nd year wanna see our performances n decide who to take as their buddy ..... while say it in a bad way ... its a nite where we newbies hv to embarass ourselves infront of all those seniors in order to entertaint them ..... stupid rite .... haih ... but we cant disobey them .... cuz u wont noe n u wont want to noe the consequences of disobeying them ... haha .....!!
I kinda miss my life in matric .... at there is more free .... who says UNi life is fun .... its not fun ... hearing lecture to lecture 2 chapter in one hr .... can u imagine how fast the speed is .... n we dunt hv any reference also .... haih ... dunnoe how to do my revision also !! so kekxim
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Dear diaries 7
dear diaries ......
well .... 2 more days im going to start my new life ..... im really looking forward ..... Uni life .... i hope i can make new frens there .... n i really hope everything will go smoothly ..... no more betraying ... no backstabbing ..... no more bad rumors.... n last but not least ... NO MORE EMOING .... haha ....
Im here to thanks a fren of mine .... i appreciate her help .... really .... I'm happy there's a person there to let me split out things ..... to be my listener ..... thanks a lot ..... i wish that all of my frens can be happy forever .... M can get over from her problem although it might take some tym ... C can be successful .... S can score her examination with flying colours .... haha .....
I wanna apologize to somebody too ... actually i dunt mean to avoid you ..... i really wanna reply ur sms or ur nudge .... but everytym when i reply u wont really reply me back ....its hard for me to reply ur sms but over the other side ur not there waiting for my reply ..... i really dunnoe u ..... u have lots of ppl u can sms with .... so it doesnt matter that i didnt reply ur msg .... u can still find others .... there are dozens of gals waiting for ur msg ..... so dunt scold me for not replying u ..... cuz u always didnt reply me when i reply u ... understand !!! well...... i think u will nvr ever see this post .... just wanna spread out my tak puas hati here !!
well .... 2 more days im going to start my new life ..... im really looking forward ..... Uni life .... i hope i can make new frens there .... n i really hope everything will go smoothly ..... no more betraying ... no backstabbing ..... no more bad rumors.... n last but not least ... NO MORE EMOING .... haha ....
Im here to thanks a fren of mine .... i appreciate her help .... really .... I'm happy there's a person there to let me split out things ..... to be my listener ..... thanks a lot ..... i wish that all of my frens can be happy forever .... M can get over from her problem although it might take some tym ... C can be successful .... S can score her examination with flying colours .... haha .....
I wanna apologize to somebody too ... actually i dunt mean to avoid you ..... i really wanna reply ur sms or ur nudge .... but everytym when i reply u wont really reply me back ....its hard for me to reply ur sms but over the other side ur not there waiting for my reply ..... i really dunnoe u ..... u have lots of ppl u can sms with .... so it doesnt matter that i didnt reply ur msg .... u can still find others .... there are dozens of gals waiting for ur msg ..... so dunt scold me for not replying u ..... cuz u always didnt reply me when i reply u ... understand !!! well...... i think u will nvr ever see this post .... just wanna spread out my tak puas hati here !!
Friday, June 25, 2010
Dear diaries 6
Dear diaries ......
today im gonna reveal the real me ..... the emo side of me .... yesterday was a very complicated day .... im happy n sad /emo at the same tym ..... yesterday ..... i accidentally knew about the truth that i wish i will nvr ever noe if im given a choice !! it hurts ..... it really hurts .... it makes me dunt believe frenship anymore .... Y ...? Y must i know this ugly truth ! I'm suppose to enter U with all those gd memories with u .... but now .... u spoil it ...... i wanna be clear in my diaries ..... but can i really do it ....? im scared .... n i dunt have to confident to do it ....there are still ppl who spread bad rumors about me ..... it really hurts me .... it's tired to always keep things to myself ..... sumtym i really hope got some one that can let me spread out everything inside my heart n just let me cry out loud for an hour or even more ...... the person i hope for do appear but y must it be him ? y is he always the 1st to notice im sad im emo im mad n wat so eva ....... n he's always the only one to comfort me ..... telling me dunt be sad dunt be angry ..... n smsed me those lame jokes to make me smile ..... It's gd that there is still such ppl staying by my side ..... but ..... haih .....!!
keeping secrets aren't easy ...... im sick of keeping things to myself .... sometimes i wanted to tell him wat happen but i just cant express it out ..... M have C and K , who do i have ? S ? i noe S well ..... telling her these things will only make her to suffer .... so i cant really tell her sumtym .... but she's really gd to me !! i luv u S ..... i think u r the only close fren left to me ..... the only person in malacca that i can still chat for a long tym without stopping !! i appreciate it !!
I remembered i told K & M that if anything happen u can always talk to me ..... somehow i wish they will also said back that if u got anything we r always there to talk to u ...... I'm always the gd listener n a gd counselor ..... but i need a listener too ..... this is the 1st tym I"m writing so many emo stuff .... with 2 roll of tears cuming out from my eyes .... I seek for K's help be4 when im in matric ..... i dunnoe y i will sms her ..... but when i on my phone .... she's the only one in the contact list that i can smsed ..... i dunnoe wat happen to me ..... at the tym my only fren in matric left me ..... it's a tough nite for me ..... i cried for the whole night untill my roomate come n comfort me ..... i smsed her n spread my feelings out ...... actually kinda sad to disturb her ..... I'm sorry again K .... when facing ezam stress also .... i smsed her sumthing stupid ..... why m i always sms her i also dunnoe ..... maybe i trust her .... maybe i always help her n now i wanted her to help me too ..... I'm really sry to always disturb her ..... haih .....
today im gonna reveal the real me ..... the emo side of me .... yesterday was a very complicated day .... im happy n sad /emo at the same tym ..... yesterday ..... i accidentally knew about the truth that i wish i will nvr ever noe if im given a choice !! it hurts ..... it really hurts .... it makes me dunt believe frenship anymore .... Y ...? Y must i know this ugly truth ! I'm suppose to enter U with all those gd memories with u .... but now .... u spoil it ...... i wanna be clear in my diaries ..... but can i really do it ....? im scared .... n i dunt have to confident to do it ....there are still ppl who spread bad rumors about me ..... it really hurts me .... it's tired to always keep things to myself ..... sumtym i really hope got some one that can let me spread out everything inside my heart n just let me cry out loud for an hour or even more ...... the person i hope for do appear but y must it be him ? y is he always the 1st to notice im sad im emo im mad n wat so eva ....... n he's always the only one to comfort me ..... telling me dunt be sad dunt be angry ..... n smsed me those lame jokes to make me smile ..... It's gd that there is still such ppl staying by my side ..... but ..... haih .....!!
keeping secrets aren't easy ...... im sick of keeping things to myself .... sometimes i wanted to tell him wat happen but i just cant express it out ..... M have C and K , who do i have ? S ? i noe S well ..... telling her these things will only make her to suffer .... so i cant really tell her sumtym .... but she's really gd to me !! i luv u S ..... i think u r the only close fren left to me ..... the only person in malacca that i can still chat for a long tym without stopping !! i appreciate it !!
I remembered i told K & M that if anything happen u can always talk to me ..... somehow i wish they will also said back that if u got anything we r always there to talk to u ...... I'm always the gd listener n a gd counselor ..... but i need a listener too ..... this is the 1st tym I"m writing so many emo stuff .... with 2 roll of tears cuming out from my eyes .... I seek for K's help be4 when im in matric ..... i dunnoe y i will sms her ..... but when i on my phone .... she's the only one in the contact list that i can smsed ..... i dunnoe wat happen to me ..... at the tym my only fren in matric left me ..... it's a tough nite for me ..... i cried for the whole night untill my roomate come n comfort me ..... i smsed her n spread my feelings out ...... actually kinda sad to disturb her ..... I'm sorry again K .... when facing ezam stress also .... i smsed her sumthing stupid ..... why m i always sms her i also dunnoe ..... maybe i trust her .... maybe i always help her n now i wanted her to help me too ..... I'm really sry to always disturb her ..... haih .....
也许时间是一种解药，也是我现在正服下的毒药.....
now i only now how hurt is this lyrics ........ time can cure sum of the problem im facing .... but it also leads me to another disaster ...... from the ugly truth i noe yesterday ..... maybe i should stop going KTV ..... singing suppose to be a great thing which bring good memories to me .... but now it changes ...... it's no more happy memories .... ！！Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Dear diaries 5
Dear diaries .....
I'm here again to update my blog ...... arh .... went for medical checkup just now ...... n i got shocked at there ..... I'm only 150cm ....omg ..... so short ..... omg ..... haih ..... n i gain weight ady .... 45.5 kg .... in just 2 months tym i gain 1.5kg .... omg ..... i need to control my diet ady lah ..... must lose weight ..... stupid medical checkup .... it let be realise im SHORT N FAT ..... just lyk dwarf !! haih .....
this checkup requires to do urine test .... so .... haha .... i hv to pee to the correct place ..... hahaha ....sounds very geli rite ..... hv to take the small bottle .... aim to that side n start collecting ur own urine ..... haha ..... the doctor said : well..... ur body is healthy .... ur respiratory system , excretory system , nervous system all normal .... ( of cuz normal la .... if nervous system abnormal i wont be here loh ....) but u have a very concentrated urine ...... so drink more water .... then i answered : haha .... i noe my urine is concentrated cuz for the whole morning i didnt drink water .....i went for the X ray early in the morning n staright away cum here so no water to drink ..... then the doctor laugh .... haha ...
another funny thing happen was at the radiotherapy center at putra hospital where i have my X ray test ...... the therapist asked me some questions which i think its funny .... 1st she asked how old m i .... i answered : 19 .... then she asked when did ur period come ? well.... i fee weird when she asked lyk that cuz wats the relationship of when ur menstruation come with this X ray thingy .... but i answered : form 1 .... then she smile n correct her question again .... the question is when did ur last period come ? ... then i was lyk ..... ^O^ I answered : last month .... then therapist asked again : u confirm u r not pregnant ? .... i was lyk ....@@ of cuz im not pregnant lah ..... haiyo ... pregnant woman knot do Xray wan mah ..... haiyo .... plus my period got come loh .... haiyo.... swt man ......
after that went to open bank account .... Bank ISLAM .... omg .... so many ppl queuing to open account ..... plus I saw a few seniors from pay fong 2 wan ..... i noe them but they dunnoe me .... haha .... they going the same U as me .... omg .... i cant really believe it .... haha ... now i really feel F6 is a waste of tym .... cuz those seniors going to be coursemate with me .... wahaha ....it's weird dude !!but hor .... this bank islam very small leh .... n whole malacca only one branch ... omg .... so squeeze inside .... haha .... u can see everybody holding the application form n starting to find a place to fill up the form .... luckily im smart enough to bring a pen myself ... no need to wait for the bank punya pen .... hahaha .....!!
I'm here again to update my blog ...... arh .... went for medical checkup just now ...... n i got shocked at there ..... I'm only 150cm ....omg ..... so short ..... omg ..... haih ..... n i gain weight ady .... 45.5 kg .... in just 2 months tym i gain 1.5kg .... omg ..... i need to control my diet ady lah ..... must lose weight ..... stupid medical checkup .... it let be realise im SHORT N FAT ..... just lyk dwarf !! haih .....
this checkup requires to do urine test .... so .... haha .... i hv to pee to the correct place ..... hahaha ....sounds very geli rite ..... hv to take the small bottle .... aim to that side n start collecting ur own urine ..... haha ..... the doctor said : well..... ur body is healthy .... ur respiratory system , excretory system , nervous system all normal .... ( of cuz normal la .... if nervous system abnormal i wont be here loh ....) but u have a very concentrated urine ...... so drink more water .... then i answered : haha .... i noe my urine is concentrated cuz for the whole morning i didnt drink water .....i went for the X ray early in the morning n staright away cum here so no water to drink ..... then the doctor laugh .... haha ...
another funny thing happen was at the radiotherapy center at putra hospital where i have my X ray test ...... the therapist asked me some questions which i think its funny .... 1st she asked how old m i .... i answered : 19 .... then she asked when did ur period come ? well.... i fee weird when she asked lyk that cuz wats the relationship of when ur menstruation come with this X ray thingy .... but i answered : form 1 .... then she smile n correct her question again .... the question is when did ur last period come ? ... then i was lyk ..... ^O^ I answered : last month .... then therapist asked again : u confirm u r not pregnant ? .... i was lyk ....@@ of cuz im not pregnant lah ..... haiyo ... pregnant woman knot do Xray wan mah ..... haiyo .... plus my period got come loh .... haiyo.... swt man ......
after that went to open bank account .... Bank ISLAM .... omg .... so many ppl queuing to open account ..... plus I saw a few seniors from pay fong 2 wan ..... i noe them but they dunnoe me .... haha .... they going the same U as me .... omg .... i cant really believe it .... haha ... now i really feel F6 is a waste of tym .... cuz those seniors going to be coursemate with me .... wahaha ....it's weird dude !!but hor .... this bank islam very small leh .... n whole malacca only one branch ... omg .... so squeeze inside .... haha .... u can see everybody holding the application form n starting to find a place to fill up the form .... luckily im smart enough to bring a pen myself ... no need to wait for the bank punya pen .... hahaha .....!!
Monday, June 21, 2010
Dear diaries 4
Dear diaries .....
well..... im starting a new life soon ....going for Uni for my tertiary education .... and there's a lot to prepare ..... i wanted to bring everything NEW to my U but i cant afford it ..... haih ... too bad rite ? Today i packed sum of my clothes to UKM according to the dress code they given which are : 2 or 3 BLUE is a must, for entering lecture hall ... smart casual is ok .... SMART CASUAL as in collar T with long pants ( jeans r not so allowed according to my senior ) ..... n here's my packing result ..... i search for my whole cupboard n i noticed that i dunt have any suitable collar blouse to wear for lecture .... cuz all my blouse are round neck wan plus others are sleeveless ..... others collar T r my PJ attire at kmp ..... hahaha .... and for long pants ..... well.... i only have jeansssss...... omg ..... haha .... for the BLUE kurung .... i need to buy it .... so means i need to buy clothessssss for my Uni life .....
besides packing, i have to go for medical checkup 2mr .... haih .... why does this U need to do medical check up .... it's a waste of money .... need to pay for X ray lagi .... haih .... i need lots of money now !!!! summore i think UKM is the only U that need to do medical checkup ..... haih ..... it's unnecessary lah .... waste my money only !! I have to open another bank account again ..... this tym is bank islam .... haha .....i think i got lots of account ady ... my godness .....
well..... im starting a new life soon ....going for Uni for my tertiary education .... and there's a lot to prepare ..... i wanted to bring everything NEW to my U but i cant afford it ..... haih ... too bad rite ? Today i packed sum of my clothes to UKM according to the dress code they given which are : 2 or 3 BLUE is a must, for entering lecture hall ... smart casual is ok .... SMART CASUAL as in collar T with long pants ( jeans r not so allowed according to my senior ) ..... n here's my packing result ..... i search for my whole cupboard n i noticed that i dunt have any suitable collar blouse to wear for lecture .... cuz all my blouse are round neck wan plus others are sleeveless ..... others collar T r my PJ attire at kmp ..... hahaha .... and for long pants ..... well.... i only have jeansssss...... omg ..... haha .... for the BLUE kurung .... i need to buy it .... so means i need to buy clothessssss for my Uni life .....
besides packing, i have to go for medical checkup 2mr .... haih .... why does this U need to do medical check up .... it's a waste of money .... need to pay for X ray lagi .... haih .... i need lots of money now !!!! summore i think UKM is the only U that need to do medical checkup ..... haih ..... it's unnecessary lah .... waste my money only !! I have to open another bank account again ..... this tym is bank islam .... haha .....i think i got lots of account ady ... my godness .....
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